KOSHER DELIGHT - YOUR JEWISH ONLINE MAGAZINE!
By Rabbi Shea Hecht
Awareness of what you need and are
looking for in a spouse. In communities where
parents do the searching for their children's spouse
they should know what their children are looking
Background check is very important
before you proceed.
Can I trust my source of
information that everything they said about this
potential mate is true?
Do I feel any level of attraction
to this person?
Everyone has faults. Can I live
with my potential mate's faults?
Follow your roadmap throughout your
marriage. Did you make one?
Get feedback from the people who
love you and know you best.
Heart! Heart! Heart! Is your heart
drawn to this person?
"I need my space" is a fair thing
to say to unreasonable questions.
Just say no to any requests that
make you feel uncomfortable.
Kindness is telling. The old
saying, "A man/woman who is nice to you, but nasty
to the waitress is not a nice man/woman" is still
Love is important, though
ultimately it is respect that holds our marriage
Marriage is a lifetime's worth of
work. The journey is easier when we have our family
backing us and our roadmap planned out.
Nobody can do it alone. We all need
support and advice from those who have traveled the
well-worn path of dating and marriage.
An Open mind is a good thing to
have while dating.
Preconceived notions can destroy a
potentially good relationship.
Ask a lot of Questions before you
start dating. Meeting someone and feeling an
attraction can mask valid concerns.
Reassure yourself that you don't
have to know if "this is the one" right away. Give
yourself some time.
Seek the guidance of a mentor or
Trust yourself and Take
your time. If something feels wrong it probably is
... but of course, discuss your concerns with a
mentor to be sure.
Understanding self is the first
step to a solid and healthy relationship.
Vices. Does your date have any?
What are they?
What do you find interesting about
your date? If you understand what draws you to
him/her you may understand yourself better.
EXamine the motives of those who
are very pushy for or against a date turning into a
marriage. Do they have your best interests in mind?
Y marry? What are you looking for
in marriage? Is the person you are dating a
potential spouse that can help you get to where you
want to go?
Zoom in on the beauty, joy and
potential of relationships and proceed from there.
|Rabbi Shea Hecht
Chairman of the
National Committee for
Furtherance of Jewish Education .
His web site is:
KOSHER DELIGHT MAGAZINE